New BMW X6 gets Schnitzer'd!
Author: Chris Barker
Published: 30 July 2008
We knew it wouldn’t be long in the making – although many of us were praying it wouldn’t be just yet – but it looks like someone very brave/very stupid (delete as you think applicable) has bitten the bullet and given the BMW X6 a shocking makeover. One that should have required the services and application of a lump hammer, some bin liners, a large whole in the ground and an understandable, cast iron alibi.The ammunition-catcher on this occasion is German tuning old hands, AC Schnitzer, who really should know better. Having tinkered with a succession of BMW’s over the years - and making the impossibly beautiful and rapid even more impossibly beautiful and rapid – ensuring all that emerges from the Schnitzer workshop should be framed, there’s nothing BMW hasn’t had a fumble in the dark with so to speak. Nothing excepting the X6.Unfortunately, thinking it could not put a foot wrong, the praise went to Schnitzer’s head, and it dared to look twice at the BMW X6. A car challenging enough to clap your eyes on in standard ridicule form, a car that from some angles (i.e., four) makes the Porsche Cayenne suddenly seem acceptable in a decade other than the 80s. A car that’s without question a double bagger.So what irrepairable further damage has Schnitzer inexcusably administered to the BMX X6?On the outside it sports a new front skirt populated with diagonal air intakes and exposed fog lights. Underbody protection has given way to more dynamic and fluid styling to contour the spoiler edge. It’s not like the X6 is ever going to encounter terrain rougher than the tanning studio-tarnished outer surface of its occupants.To the rearmost, and another oversized skirt, colour coded naturally darling, takes pride of place, broken up only by the introduction of a diffuser to at least provide one X6 elevation that wouldn’t make you taste a little sick in your mouth.Twin, twin chromed exhaust pipes jut out from beneath, but thankfully subdued enough not to confuse the Schnitzer’d X6 with a novelty X6-shaped wheel barrow. Mind, you don’t see many wheelbarrows housing humongous 22” rims in its arches.A unique suspension kit was developed for the X6, and proven at the Nurburgring recently.
With Carbon fibre spilling into every interior nook and cranny and more glaring extra-curricular polish than a rappers teeth, the X6 is only a nice place to find yourself when you’re restrained to the insides.So, to the bit you really want to know about, and the one chance that Schnitzer has to restore its credibility and make good all the bad that the exterior has created. The grunt. The poke. The engine.Being masters of BMW ECU sabotaging, they’ve violated the inner sanctums of both the 3.0-litre turbo diesel power generators, and although staying schtum about actual figures, you can imagine migraine-inducing velocity wouldn’t be far from the truth, with between 250 – 300bhp being bandied around by madmen that live on the fringes of society, yet strangely are more than able with monkey-wrenches and soldering irons.
Stop it! Make it all go away! It's hurting our eyes again now, we've seen enough!
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